You follow Amy, 90s badass goth who fixes computers on the night shift - serve clients with a smirk, mock dweebs on the conspiracy forum, and uncover a serial killer? All in a day's work.

• Wishlist Now!

Game ideas

A game where you're a cat that serves baked good - catameringue
A game where you look through peoples shit in dumpsters
A game where you have to tattoo yakuza
A game where an olive is stuck in the garbage disposal
A game where you're haunted by the ghost of a banshee
A game where you're kidnapped by fairies who torture you forever

A FISTFUL OF JAFFA CAKES

SCENE 1.
INT. CANTINA. DAY.
Four Desperadoes - GOOD, BAD and UGLY - sit around a table drinking coffee and eating biscuits from a plate. UGLY reaches for the last biscuit on the plate. The others exchange glances. UGLY withdraws his hand. All three stand up out of their chairs, their hands reaching for their guns. A stand-off ensues.

They stare at each other. Then at the biscuit. Then at each other again. The tension builds as the stand-off continues. GOOD looks steely and confident, eyes narrowing. UGLY looks panicked. BAD looks angry but contained, eyes squinting. UGLY’s eyes dart back and forth, trickles of sweat breaking out on his forehead.

Just as the tension reaches fever pitch, GOOD draws first. The others barely even get their guns out of their holsters as GOOD coolly guns them down. They slump down dead. GOOD snatches the last biscuit from the plate and walks off chewing it laconically.

J3n4M3n: Girl
J3n4M3n: GIRRL
J3n4M3n: GRIIILRGRIIRIRIL
J3n4M3n: COMEONNN AMY
J3n4M3n: I KNOW YOU AWAKE
ChronicallyHeartless: SUUP GIRL
J3n4M3n: MY GIRL AMY
J3n4M3n: are you just waking up?
ChronicallyHeartless: You know I work nights!
J3n4M3n: Can't believe you still have that work its a shit job Amy
J3n4M3n: you're a literal genius and you waste your time fixing computers in some dark office when you should be in College
J3n4M3n: being the cool goth nerd genius or something
ChronicallyHeartless: Girrrrrl, fuck off, you know I need the money
ChronicallyHeartless: I like it! Plus I get to snoop on people's machine
J3n4M3n: I forgot your weird hobby lmao,
J3n4M3n: send me your latest funnies!!!
J3n4M3n: you must meet so many weirdos...
J3n4M3n: but sure it's your life girl
J3n4M3n: all of this to say I GOT SOME HOT NEWS
ChronicallyHeartless: TELL ME
J3n4M3n: think I found something more about a urbleg post
ChronicallyHeartless: lmao is your furby is acting up again?
J3n4M3n: THAT THING IS NOT A JOKE AMY
J3n4M3n: IT IS THE CREEPIEST FUCKING CREATURE THAT EVER RULED THIS EARTH
J3n4M3n: but no!
J3n4M3n: the local murders!!
ChronicallyHeartless: Oh yeah the people abducted by aliens? LMAO
J3n4M3n: no, no aliens girl, plain MURDERS
J3n4M3n: I'm pretty sure I found something! hear me out
J3n4M3n: there's this guy
ChronicallyHeartless: You always say that lol
J3n4M3n: no but for real though
J3n4M3n: its a friend said he found a weird ass tape that explains everything, I'm gonna check it out later
ChronicallyHeartless: Watch your ass doesn't get probed!
J3n4M3n: LMAO smartass
J3n4M3n: I'll let you know when I check it out!
J3n4M3n: I'll hit the forum too
J3n4M3n: I'm late for work, laterrrz girl
ChronicallyHeartless: PEACE

XxxJellyBellyxxX: hey Jen wazzap
J3n4M3n: hi Jel, how r u
XxxJellyBellyxxX: good you? how come your up so late
J3n4M3n: finishing up a project, im good too
XxxJellyBellyxxX: cool cool
XxxJellyBellyxxX: what kind of project?
J3n4M3n: not sure I want to share until it's ready :)
XxxJellyBellyxxX: I understand. I also have a project, and when I have enough evidence it will be revealed
J3n4M3n: It's about the murders isn't it
XxxJellyBellyxxX: No
J3n4M3n: It is#
XxxJellyBellyxxX: I really can't say
J3n4M3n: ok
XxxJellyBellyxxX: ok
XxxJellyBellyxxX: ok it's about the murders
XxxJellyBellyxxX: I'm starting to tie them all together and I think I'm onto something.
XxxJellyBellyxxX: they are definitely related
J3n4M3n: k
XxxJellyBellyxxX: seriouusly if you saw what I have in real life you'd believe me
J3n4M3n: maybe
XxxJellyBellyxxX: wanna put it to the test? send me your info and ill send you mine: xxxjellybellyxxx@freedom.net
J3n4M3n: maybe
XxxJellyBellyxxX: also im having a party next week, you should come. I can show you the evidence in person, and then you can stick around for the party
J3n4M3n: i don't think so, im busy next week. but thanks though, i appreciate the invite.
XxxJellyBellyxxX: oh cool, yea anytime. Maybe we can hang out another time then

J3n4M3n: cam you there? did you have the date of the lecture dr dickface is putting on next week?
Camar0ni!: yea 2 sec
Camar0ni!: it's friday next week
J3n4M3n: cool thx
J3n4M3n: how you doing anyways?
Camar0ni!: eh getting by
Camar0ni!: did u hear about the stalker onn campus thou
J3n4M3n: stalker?
Camar0ni!: yea theres a rumor going around that some dude is stalkin girls on compus and theyr going missing
J3n4M3n: scary!!
Camar0ni!: yeah i heard that jessica has ogne missing
J3n4M3n: is she not just at her parents? i think shes fine
Camar0ni!: no im pretty sure shes missing
J3n4M3n: 2 secs
J3n4M3n: oh shit she is
Camar0ni!: its creepy dude
Camar0ni!: i think i need to stop reading up about it its freaking me out lol
Camar0ni!: i keep feeling like someones following me
Camar0ni!: u still there?
J3n4M3n: yea sorry just working on the thesis
J3n4M3n: that sounds really scary, pls be safe
------------------------
Camar0ni!: hey jen u there?
J3n4M3n: yeah whats up
Camar0ni!: remember when i said i was being paranoid and i thought someone was followingme?
Camar0ni!: well now im convinced n im freaking out
J3n4M3n: why whats happening>
Camar0ni!: ive seen this guy a lot today, its always the same guy, im convince hes there
Camar0ni!: im pretty sure hes outside my hours right now, wait
Camar0ni! sent an image.
Camar0ni!: hes outside the house!!!
J3n4M3n: this is so weird its not letting me open it
J3n4M3n: are you ok???
Camar0ni!: i should be, im inside, but maybe ill call the police
Camar0ni!: lemme just
J3n4M3n: ??
J3n4M3n: u there?
Camar0ni!: Don't worry about me Jen, it was a false alarm.
Camar0ni!: I have to go now, but there's nothing to worry about, goodbye.

jason: Hey, is this Jen?
J3n4M3n: ooo hey, yeah this is she, whos this?
jason: Oh, lets just say I'm a secret admirer ;)
J3n4M3n: ohh haha that's scaryyyy
jason: Oh not scary haha, it's Jason who was in the other day
J3n4M3n: OOOOO hey jason haha, whats up
jason: Ah just found the tape I told you about and thought you might wanna see it
J3n4M3n: Oh YES I REALLY WANT TO SEE THAT!!! how soon can we meet ???
jason: I'm free tomorrow night?
J3n4M3n: YES PLEASE!!!
jason: I'll come to the video store near the end of your shift then
J3n4M3n: COOL OK SEE YOU THEN CANT WAIT!!!
jason: ;)

N@te: hey, dad was asking if you wanted him to bring you anything back from florida next week?
J3n4M3n: nah that's fine, I'm all stocked up on goods right now
N@te: ok cool
N@te: also moms spinning out about you being out late again
J3n4M3n: im fukin 22 years old when is she ever going to get off my back
N@te: never? when u die
N@te: she just worries about you
J3n4M3n: worries bout losing her control sure
J3n4M3n: ill be home soon
N@te: k
------------------------
N@te: jen?

From: LizardWatch Weekly Digest
Subject: URGENT INTEL: Area 51 Movements, Majestic 12 Leak, HAARP Activity Spikes

Fellow Truth Seekers,
Strap in. This week’s intel is a doozy

AREA 51 – Midnight Convoy Alert
Multiple eyewitnesses near Groom Lake reported four unmarked trucks escorted by black helicopters entering the base at 02:14 AM Tuesday. One source claims to have seen what appeared to be a biological containment unit being offloaded.

Insider quote:
"I've seen supplies come through before, but never with armed escort drones. Something’s changed."

Satellite scans also suggest a new hangar structure is being built—far larger than anything previously documented. Could this be the rumored S4 deep-burial site?

MAJESTIC 12 – Document Leak or Disinfo?
A new memo attributed to MJ-12 surfaced in a Usenet group (alt.conspiracy.ufo). It details “Project CEDAR” — an alleged protocol for civilian psychological manipulation in the event of extraterrestrial disclosure.

But beware: linguistic analysis shows some phrases inconsistent with 1950s military syntax. Is this a real leak, or planted by disinfo agents to discredit the real documents?

HAARP – Atmospheric Disturbances in the Pacific
The HAARP array in Gakona, Alaska fired a full-power sequence last Wednesday. That same night, sailors in the North Pacific reported unnatural cloud formations and radio blackouts.

Coincidence? We think not. Several amateur radio operators detected ELF wave anomalies matching known HAARP patterns.
And here’s the kicker: NOAA reported minor seismic tremors in the same region—zero tectonic justification.

Could HAARP be pivoting from ionospheric research to geophysical manipulation?

ACTION ITEMS:
Avoid travel near known deep-state facilities this week

Share this bulletin with trusted contacts only

Truth is not a theory.
Stay awake,
The Editors

Sender: Jason Connor
Subject: Fwd: Fwd: This Really Works! Read Carefully!

This letter has been around the world nine times. Now it's your turn.
DO NOT DELETE THIS MESSAGE. Something amazing will happen to you if you follow these simple steps:

Forward this email to 10 people within the next 24 hours.
Do not edit or change the message.
Watch what happens tomorrow, you’ll be surprised!

Here's what happened to some people:
Jennifer S. from New York sent it to 10 friends and got a call the next day about her dream job!

Mike L. from Chicago ignored it... three days later his car broke down.

Lucy B. from California followed the instructions and found $50 on the street!

This is not a joke. The power of positive energy and email karma is real. Just try it, you’ve got nothing to lose!

Remember: What goes around, comes around. Send this on and see what happens.

Sender: Anon
Subject: Hello there

Aren't you the inquisitive one. I've been watching you. I've left a little something for you on this machine to find. Do you think you're smart enough to find it? I can't wait to find out...

Sender: Herman Spitzer
Subject: Weekly duties

Dear Jen,

As discussed on Sunday, this week is your turn on the supervision rota at Sunday School. It will be your job to do the following:
- Set up the classroom ahead of school starting.
- Supervise alongside Mrs. Thompson to ensure that all children play nicely together.
- Clean up all chairs, books, and supplies at the end of school.

You will be on this rotation for the coming month. If you have any questions, please direct them to Mrs.Thompson.

Please note we will not accept any tardiness, and if you derlict your duties in the same manner as last month, we will have to explore displinary action with you and your mother.

Sender: Amy Bailey
Subject: Fwd:STOP GIVING MY NUMBER TO CUSTOMERS

haaaaaaa, get fuucckkeed
------------------------
Sender: Marcus Thompson

Amy what have I said about giving my number out to customers? And of all people the wife of that conservative fuck?? You know I hate that shit, I don't care how angry they are. Also, stop riling them up. You do a good job, but I've a reputation here. You're a good kid, but knock it off or we'll need words.